(Just a heads up, this is just one big rant.. So read if you dare)
I have always felt a little awkward when I tell people what to do. (Insert sly comment here) But I really do, I do not feel like I have the right to tell people what to do, and I suck at standing up for myself. I guess I am a little hesitant because I do not want any confrontation or hurting of feelings. So as a resort, I have just been hibernating since we brought Jefferson home. I know that is what you are suppose to do when you have a new baby, but I don't even really want guests over to my house. I didn't even have the guts to tell a little girl that she could not come to my daughters birthday party because she had gotten sick on the way over, my mom had to be the one to tell her. And I went into the other room and bawled my eyes out. I felt horrible for that. My momma bear instincts are more like momma cub.
Over Thanksgiving week there was a ton of my family out here for the holiday that stayed with my grandparents. My oldest sister brought her family up from Colorado, my mom flew out, and my brother and his fiance came down from Idaho to spend the holiday with our family. The week prior my grandparents were sick, and still recovering when people started coming in. It had been agreed that Jefferson was staying home no matter what for Thanksgiving and one of us would go take Stella over to eat turkey dinner with the family. But I did not want any of us to spend much time over there because there were several sick people. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about one of us getting sick and then possibly giving it to Jefferson. Especially Stella, because she cannot control her sneezes and does not know to cover her mouth. I am the one with the terrible immune system though, so I was most afraid of me getting sick, especially since I have the most contact with Jefferson.
So here is what I am trying to get at here, it started out in the NICU. We did not allow any family members in the NICU other than grandparents, and great grandparents. Our siblings and any other family or friends were not allowed to come see him. No amount of bribery would have enticed us enough to let more people come visit. You know how it is, some people just are not very considerate when it comes to being sick and seeing babies. They just visit any ways even though they know they are not feeling well. So I wanted to create as less exposure as possible for my baby, as well as all of the other babies in the NICU. So that is why we limited it, it was not just our angel we were trying to protect. For kids with heart defects and Down syndrome, it is much harder for them to fight off colds and are more likely to end up in the hospital, even with the common cold.
Then we came home, and the fun began. We were bombarded with texts and phone calls of people wanting to come over, some were from the Relief Society wanting to bring dinner and gifts, but this scared me to DEATH! We had just got home and I did not want a bunch of people in my house. I said 'ok' to a couple meals, even though I really have a thick skull and don't really like to be helped. I just like being independent. I was just hoping that it would have just been the one person coming to drop by meals, but I usually had 2-3 people visiting, and wanting to see the baby, every time they came to drop off meals. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for our amazing ward members for helping us out. But people in my house gives me anxiety! (I'm just being honest here) So when there are more than 2 extra people in my house, I do not have the heart (balls really) to either; just talk to them at the door and not let them in, or to tell them to leave. I also have a box of masks and hand sanitizer, and rarely have I asked a visitor to wear one.
I do not care that I want to be a hermit for the next 4 months till Spring gets here. I feel terrible, but I do not even want Stella going to Nursery because I am afraid of what she might bring back. I do not even want her going to play with cousins, because I am afraid of what she might get. I don't really want people coming over to my house, because I am afraid of what they might bring in. I know this is unrealistic but its just how I feel. But I am sorry, this is my way of being a Momma Bear. I do not have the guts to tell you, 'are you sick?', or for you to wear a mask, or wash your hands. My way of just keeping Jefferson in the back room away from any potential visitors, and keeping him isolated, is just so much easier for me. Less chance of hurting someones feelings by telling them they have to leave. So, again, I am sorry. I know I need to be more upfront and firm when it comes to people visiting, but I don't have the guts. Like I said, I am more of a Momma Cub instead of a Momma Bear.
So then here are a set of rules I would like to follow from now on. I will try to inform everyone ahead of time if you plan on visiting.
- If you are sick, please do not bother coming over, not even a tickle of the throat or a runny nose. I don't want any of it here.
- Please only 2 people here at a time. I have a tiny house and I do not like it cram packed.
- You must wash your hands upon arrival, AND before holding Jefferson.
- DO NOT touch Jefferson's face or hands at all. Please keep your hand on the back of his head and that is it. 90% of germs are contracted through your eyes, ears and mouth (according to my pediatrician)
- Please limit your visit to 10-15 minutes maximum
- This should be common sense, but do not kiss him.
- No kids please, only adults. Most kids do not know when they are getting sick.
Please be courteous and and help me keep my angel healthy and out of the hospital!
