My 3 year old Princess!

In the midst of all the Jefferson craziness, Stella Rae turned 3!  She had been wanting a Snow White birthday party and begged for it every chance she got.

   I wanted her to feel special and put the spotlight on her, instead of Jefferson.  She did not get hardly, if any, attention from her parents while Jefferson was in the NICU, so we wanted to go out a little for her party.  So we hired Snow White to come over and entertain the girls.  There is a company locally called Enchanted Princess Parties where these women dress up as Disney Princesses and play the part of the princess they are dressed as.  They have big poofy wire dresses, wigs that are the exact hair do, voice is the same and their hands and arms are just like how the princesses hold and wave them in the movies.  We invited a couple friends and cousins and they all came dressed in their princess dresses!  There were 7 girls there and watching their faces light up when Snow White AND Cinderella walked into the door was priceless!  They entertained the girls with mini make overs, glitter tattoos, magic tricks, played games, and painted nails.  It was worth every penny to have them entertain the girls! 

    I also did a Mining dig in sawdust where the girls dug in the sawdust to find all kinds if jems, necklaces, bracelets, rings and candy.  The girls loved it and got to take some fun jewelry home.  

Here are a few pictures of the fun party. 

(Part of Cinderellas beautiful dress)

My adorable little Birthday Princess!

The princess cake I made turned out pretty cute, and I made cute red bow headbands for each of the girls. 

I am so happy she loved it and had a blast with her friends.  Worth every penny to see her huge smile! 

Happy 3rd Birthday Princess Stella Rae!

Happy 1 Month Little Love

(Cute pecan shaped like a heart) 

Well my little love is 1 month old!  He had his first Cardiologist visit yesterday.  Everything looks great!  His lungs are improving and the Dr Pinto suspects he will no longer need oxygen with in the next month, YAY!! He has been sating high lately and we usually have to pull his nasal cannula away from his face 98% of the time, or shut off the oxygen all together to get him to come down to normal. He weighed in at 8lbs 11oz and was 21" long.  This is amazing for a heart baby!  Typically kids with heart defects usually slows down their growth, but he just keeps on chugging! 

   He is doing so great and is such an amazing baby.  I wanted to go over a few of my favorite things that I love about my handsome dude! 

I love his hair!!  

Especially after a bath! 

I love his cute little folded over ears 

I love his nubby little fingers! 

I Love that he sleeps a good 5+ hours straight each night! 

I love his little head bob he does when he breathes.  Although it kills me to see him work so hard just to breathe, it's pretty cute. 

I love his waddle, and I just love to kiss it!

I love his little rolls 

I love his adorable almond shaped eyes.  

He is such an angel and I just keep falling in love with him every second I get to snuggle him!  My kids are pretty amazing!! 

Photo Shoot!

My wonderful sister came over and took to capture my sweet boys on film (well digitally that is).

Here he is!!

Momma Bear, Beware!!

  (Just a heads up, this is just one big rant.. So read if you dare)
    I have always felt a little awkward when I tell people what to do.  (Insert sly comment here)  But I really do, I do not feel like I have the right to tell people what to do, and I suck at standing up for myself.  I guess I am a little hesitant because I do not want any confrontation or hurting of feelings.  So as a resort, I have just been hibernating since we brought Jefferson home.  I know that is what you are suppose to do when you have a new baby, but I don't even really want guests over to my house.  I didn't even have the guts to tell a little girl that she could not come to my daughters birthday party because she had gotten sick on the way over, my mom had to be the one to tell her.  And I went into the other room and bawled my eyes out.  I felt horrible for that.  My momma bear instincts are more like momma cub.
   Over Thanksgiving week there was a ton of my family out here for the holiday that stayed with my grandparents.  My oldest sister brought her family up from Colorado, my mom flew out, and my brother and his fiance came down from Idaho to spend the holiday with our family.  The week prior my grandparents were sick, and still recovering when people started coming in.  It had been agreed that Jefferson was staying home no matter what for Thanksgiving and one of us would go take Stella over to eat turkey dinner with the family.  But I did not want any of us to spend much time over there because there were several sick people.  It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about one of us getting sick and then possibly giving it to Jefferson.  Especially Stella, because she cannot control her sneezes and does not know to cover her mouth.  I am the one with the terrible immune system though, so I was most afraid of me getting sick, especially since I have the most contact with Jefferson.
    So here is what I am trying to get at here, it started out in the NICU.  We did not allow any family members in the NICU other than grandparents, and great grandparents.  Our siblings and any other family or friends were not allowed to come see him.  No amount of bribery would have enticed us enough to let more people come visit.  You know how it is, some people just are not very considerate when it comes to being sick and seeing babies.  They just visit any ways even though they know they are not feeling well.  So I wanted to create as less exposure as possible for my baby, as well as all of the other babies in the NICU.  So that is why we limited it, it was not just our angel we were trying to protect. For kids with heart defects and Down syndrome, it is much harder for them to fight off colds and are more likely to end up in the hospital, even with the common cold. 
    Then we came home, and the fun began.  We were bombarded with texts and phone calls of people wanting to come over, some were from the Relief Society wanting to bring dinner and gifts, but this scared me to DEATH!  We had just got home and I did not want a bunch of people in my house.  I said 'ok' to a couple meals, even though I really have a thick skull and don't really like to be helped.  I just like being independent.  I was just hoping that it would have just been the one person coming to drop by meals, but I usually had 2-3 people visiting, and wanting to see the baby, every time they came to drop off meals.  Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for our amazing ward members for helping us out.  But people in my house gives me anxiety!  (I'm just being honest here)  So when there are more than 2 extra people in my house, I do not have the heart (balls really) to either; just talk to them at the door and not let them in, or to tell them to leave.   I also have a box of masks and hand sanitizer, and rarely have I asked a visitor to wear one.
    I do not care that I want to be a hermit for the next 4 months till Spring gets here.  I feel terrible, but I do not even want Stella going to Nursery because I am afraid of what she might bring back.  I do not even want her going to play with cousins, because I am afraid of what she might get.  I don't really want people coming over to my house, because I am afraid of what they might bring in.  I know this is unrealistic but its just how I feel.  But I am sorry, this is my way of being a Momma Bear.  I do not have the guts to tell you, 'are you sick?', or for you to wear a mask, or wash your hands.  My way of just keeping Jefferson in the back room away from any potential visitors, and keeping him isolated, is just so much easier for me.  Less chance of hurting someones feelings by telling them they have to leave.  So, again, I am sorry.  I know I need to be more upfront and firm when it comes to people visiting, but I don't have the guts.  Like I said, I am more of a Momma Cub instead of a Momma Bear.
   So then here are a set of rules I would like to follow from now on.  I will try to inform everyone ahead of time if you plan on visiting.
- If you are sick, please do not bother coming over, not even a tickle of the throat or a runny nose.  I don't want any of it here.
- Please only 2 people here at a time.  I have a tiny house and I do not like it cram packed.
- You must wash your hands upon arrival, AND before holding Jefferson.
- DO NOT touch Jefferson's face or hands at all.  Please keep your hand on the back of his head and that is it.  90% of germs are contracted through your eyes, ears and mouth (according to my pediatrician)
- Please limit your visit to 10-15 minutes maximum
- This should be common sense, but do not kiss him.
- No kids please, only adults.  Most kids do not know when they are getting sick.

Please be courteous and and help me keep my angel healthy and out of the hospital! 

Best of Friends!

My mom sent this to me and I couldn't stop crying after I saw this. 

  This is Stella already and I know Jefferson and Stella are going to be the best of friends, just like these two cuties. 

http://www.godvine.com/You-Need-to-Hear-What-a-Little-Girl-Says-About-Her-Brother-With-Down-Syndrome-4188.html

A couple nights ago I was in the bathroom with Stella painting her fingernails and Jefferson was in the other room crying because he was hungry.  Stella said "baby Jefferson is crying for me to hold him."  She wants to help me with everything, feeding him, changing his diaper, holding him, and giving him his binkie.  She is such a big helper and is going to be the best big sister! 

Our Perfect Angel!

   This going to be an emotional post for me.  I have had many discussions and good crying sessions the past couple of weeks over this.  Don't take this the wrong way, the crying sessions have been very spiritual and humbling, not negative.  

   Well as you have probably read in a previous post, that Jeffersons heart defect is common with Trisomy 21 and he had a 25-50% chance of having it.  We didn't care to do any testing prenataly because it was not going to change how we felt about our baby boy.  We were going to raise him and love him to pieces.  

   The day after Jefferson was born they drew his blood for the genetics testing that would take, the longest 3 days of our lives!  It actually ended up taking 4 days, and like I have said I have no patience, so it was eating at us those long 4 days.  

   Over the 1st 4 days of Jeffersons life, we fell completely head over heels in love with this little guy.  He is so special in every way it is so hard to describe.  He is so tough and hardly ever cries.  Even when he gets poked for more labs, or before every feeding to test his glucose he hardly ever cries.  He is the biggest sweet heart.  I was always worried that Stella being an angel that her little brother had a lot to live up to.  But right now, he has her beat!  

    

   I knew there was a possibility.  I knew there was that slight chance that Jefferson would have Down Syndrome.  His ultrasounds never really showed any signs, other than his body was a few weeks behind schedule, compared to his head.  I didn't get to hold Jefferson till several hours after he wa born.  He was whisked away to the NICU to get on oxygen right after he was born.  After the epidural finally wore off I was able to get into a wheel chair to see my baby.  He was placed in my arms and he opened his eyes to look at me and it hit me.  That possibility of having Down Syndrome just became real.  You could see it in his eyes.  Then the mind game played tricks on me for the next 4 days.  Could he, or could he not have that extra chromosome? 

   I went back to my room and cried.  My stupid mind kept thinking of all of the things he wouldn't be able to do.  I felt like it was my fault.  I felt like a failure because I didn't give Andrew a son that could continue on the Warwood name.  He wouldn't be able to have kids.  He would take longer to walk, talk, run, eat, etc.  After I finally was able to talk to Drew about it he was able to comfort me and help me to understand that he is still our son.  He is one of Heavenly Fathers angels that he sent us because he trusted us enough to raise him.  He is perfect in every way.  He may have an extra chromosome, but he is the most special little guy that we get to have for eternity.  He is our son and we get to raise him and love him to pieces.  

   After that little crying fit, it didn't matter any more.  Every time I held him I fell more deeply in love with him. How could you not love this adorable face? 

Several days later, our NNP came to tell us that Jefferson tested positive for Trisomy 21.  I think he was expecting us to have some sort of reaction.  We had already had this discussion a couple days before so it was not a shock for us.  We knew that the outcome of the test was not going to change anything for us.  He is our son and we love him no matter what.  He is so special and is straight from heaven.  So please, when I say "he has Down Syndrome" do not reply to me "I'm sorry" because I am not sorry.  I feel privileged to be able to raise him.  Every trial and hardship I had previously does not matter because he is absolutely perfect and we would not have him any other way! 

Day 9 in the NICU

November 21, 2013

They day has finally come!  It was a really busy day, but everything was heading in the right direction for us to go home!  Jefferson did great last night with us and had a few more tests to get done before we could leave.  He had his hearing test done, passed that with flying colors, whew!  He had another echo done on his heart this morning.  Cardiologists looked at it and said it looked really good.  His PDA was considerably smaller than the first echo - which is that much closer to closing up.  He had his car seat test, and passed that as well!  Apria also came and swapped out the pulse oximeter and it seems to be working this time.  

  It took most the morning to get all the other tests done, so by 2pm or so we were signing all the discharge paperwork and gathering all of our belongings and taking them to the car.  By about 3:30pm, we were carrying Jefferson out the door! 

   I really didn't think this day would ever come.  It has been the longest, and hardest 9 days of my life.  With all the ups and downs I am surprised I wasn't hospitalized for a heart attack of something from all the anxiety.  I don't know how other parents do it with their couple pound kids that are in there for months at a time.  That would be unbelievably hard!  I shouldn't complain, but it is so hard to see your brand new baby hooked up to all the monitors, being poked MANY times a day, being too tired to even eat, and feeling so helpless because there really isn't anything you can do for him, except be patient.  And we all know I lack any form of patience.  But after countless prayers, a couple priesthood blessings, Heavenly Father listened and answered our prayers.  We know he was suppose to be in the NICU  for a reason.  And thank heavens for the talented nurses and Drs that took such great care of our precious angel!  He can finally go home to his family, where he belongs!